Choices
I have been in a constant inner
battle with myself over the very belief in choices that Dr. Lyengar says Americans have. What I mean is that I have the facts about choice (that have been
taught to me) in my head: Make your own choices; More options leads to better
choices; and Never say no to choice, but in constantly conflicts how I actually
feel about it. The truth is, I hate choice. I absolutely despise going to large
stores where you have 50 choices of shampoo, or ice-cream. I felt this way
since I was a little girl. For example, I remember getting $1.00 to spend at
the corner store and I would stand there, staring at all the choices, starting
to sweat, starting to panic, over the fact that I could choose from 100
different types of candy. What if I chose the wrong one? Of course this
inevitably ended up being the case since I always regretted my choice as soon
as I bought it, because I just knew the other one would have been better, but
the thought alone made me feel like I was going to hyperventilate.
When I had my first child I was told
by my mother to let him do as much for himself as possible, to allow him to
choose, because this is what builds his confidence and self-esteem and would
allow him to feel empowered. I do
believe there is a certain element of truth to that, but I think this is where
subconscious lessons that more options leads to better choices and that you
should never say no to choice comes into play. But I do not believe in these
assumptions. I do not think that the more choice you have the better off you
will be. I do not think that it benefits a child to have more than 2 choices. I
think that a lot of times outside factors influence how we choose and then
those choices are no longer ours because we were influenced by others. This is
especially true with children and even more so as they get older.
As an adult, I have grown
increasingly more frustrated by having more choices. I spent a great deal of
time living overseas on a military base where are choices were severely
limited. At the time I thought it was horrible that there were only two types
of deodorant to choose from, or that in the grocery store only had one type of
apple. However, when we came back to the states I went to Walmart to pick up a
few things. After about 20 minutes in the store I felt like I was going to have
a panic attack. I couldn’t choose what type of cereal to buy for my children.
As I stood in the isle staring at the sea of choices, I left my cart in the
isle and walked out. I simply could not handle it. I felt so overwhelmed that I
just had to get out of there. Even to this day, my husband and I are building a
house and it finally came to a point where I said to the builder, “here is what
I like, so just build us something based off of this”. Trying to pick a floor
plan out of the millions of floor plans out there was just too much.
Dr. Lyengar gave an example of
parents who had to choose whether their child who was brain dead should stay on
life support or be taken off. She stated that the French parents who’s doctor
made the decision for them were more retrospective and at peace with the
decision; whereas, the American parents who actually made the choice lived with
more regret and a lingering “what-if” that left them feeling tortured. This
feeling of “what-if” can plague anyone for any choice that was made. In some
ways, having our choices taken away would be better for us, but it’s our right
to choose that makes us an American.
Reference:
Transcript of "The art of choosing" (n.d.).
Retrieved February 05, 2016, from http://www.ted.com/talks/sheena_iyengar_on_the_art_of_choosing/transcript?language=en
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